The orphanage
I recently spent 3 months teaching and helping at the House of Hope in Senjeri, Perambalur, Tamil Nadu. The orphanage is for AIDs affected children (some have AIDs themselves and some have lost their parents to it). These children are mostly dalit and have been picked off the street and given a bed, food and education. AIDs has a very bad reputation in India (because of what their religions say about fornication), and these kids who are already prejudiced for being dalit, are further outcast due to the stigma of AIDs. With the right care and medication these kids are quite capable of living full and healthy lives (as shown by the older kids who had been at the orphanage for 8-10 years and were heading off to university).
For more information see their website.
My experience (general thoughts)
In my 3 months at the House of Hope I was eagerly and warmly accommodated, if fact I found it hard to accept the privileges pushed upon me. Why do I deserve running water, showers, and a flushing toilet when the children cannot use the toilet facilities (due to water shortages) and have to walk 5-20mins to the nearest well to supply the orphanage with water? Or, why do I deserve separate, more nutritious meals when the children have been eating only rice for the last 2 days?
I found that there were two main types of child I encountered here. The ones who were obedient and eager to please and the ones who were not. I naturally found myself liking the disobedient ones more, the ones who were cheeky, had spirit and were not afraid to question. What I disliked the most was when some students took the rules into their own hands and punished other students (because I disagreed with many of the rules and punishment methods), eager for praise from the staff.
On my first day I was astounded by a scene I witnessed - a study session at night, where every single child was sitting in neat rows studying quietly. I couldn’t believe my eyes, this would never, and I mean never happen in New Zealand. It wasn’t until later that I found out the reasons for this behaviour. The kids were given little control over their own lives, there was corporal punishment, and there were no other, more interesting, activities to do (due to a lack of resources).
I found the staff very eager to learn from me, and willing to give my opinions too much respect, I found this disconcerting, as generally, I discourage people from believing claims without researching facts themselves and I am used to questioning and having my own claims questioned. So while I wanted to empower the staff to do research themselves - to give them the ability to learn about and find the tools to solve their own problems - they just wanted for me to tell them what to do.
I felt totally lost while trying to teach. I think that this was for three main reasons; the lack of clear direction as to what I was supposed to be teaching, my lack of ability to speak Tamil and that I disagreed with the teaching practices here. Not to mention a general lack of educational resources and my own lack of experience as a teacher.
Due to the little progress made with the staff and my trouble teaching, I questioned myself as to where I went wrong. I think that if your goal is to help others, focus your time where you have the greatest marginal utility. So I should have focused exclusively on engineering problems, such as water and power supply.
The bois. There were a couple of older boys, about 16,17 who all got along quite well. As they could speak some english I got to know them well.
This is Mano, the manager of the house of hope. He is actually trained as a child psychologist but due to the lack of staff he has little time to counsel. Mano was the only non-religious Indian I met and I would like to say we became friends. Mano’s english was quite good so he was one of the few people I got to know well.
Kalyani, the over excited girl infront of me, was an exception to the rule. When I got the camera out, most of the girls tended to hide, but she couldn’t keep a grin off her face.
A few of the girls picking teams for a game of go-go or jail game (dodgeball).
Just some of the younger ones. I found it hard to really connect with many of the children. But they were no less lovable.
Other stories
A boy developed a very nasty skin infection on his head. I happened to witness the nurse ‘treating’ the infection by squeezing the puss out of the raw flesh. The boy was screaming, crying and in the end had to be held down by 3-4 people. I was quite aghast at what I saw so I went and did some research. I found (what I thought to be) a likely match for the infection and the corresponding treatment. I suggested this and the nurse replied that this was what the doctor had prescribed. To which I said that I thought the doctor was wrong. The nurse looked at me incredulously and said that doctors are not wrong.
The staff wanted me to help with the behavioural problems at the orphanage / I had a few words to say about their methods. For example, I witnessed (and stopped) a staff member beating a 4-5 year old girl for wetting herself. So after many discussions about how to treat children, how hitting them wont help, I was once again confronting a senior staff member for hitting a child. His main line of argument was if the child does not misbehave then he would not have to punish them. He wanted me to give him a list of behaviours that the children must do, so if they behave properly there will be no problems. I told him that he was the problem and the conversation ended rather quickly… (I consider myself a reasonably calm person, but after weeks of this sort of shit I was getting angry, especially when they blamed the kids)
When I was sorting out my sim card I called vodaphone. An operator answered and she was speaking in Indian (they all sound the same to me…). I tried to ask for someone who spoke english, but there seemed like there was nothing I could do. I then realised, after asking for the lady to speak english 3 times, that she was speaking english… haha
I was adopted by the committee of the local Lions club (a social club for the important and wealthy) as their token white guy. Anytime one of them saw me they strongly insisted that I join them for a chat, or have some sort free food… I am even fb friends with a few of them. In the end I was invited to a lions club event (traditional dancing, circus group, …) and was even invited up on stage (in front of 200 or so people).
I was the only white person in Perambular, as far as I could tell, and people liked to stare. Not normal staring though, I would sometimes stare back and they just would’t care. I never really understood this until I was leaving and returned to a larger, less rural city, where I saw a white person for the first time in 3 months. I stared for like a whole minute thinking OMG, it’s a white person!!
A poor family came to the orphanage about a month into my stay there. The father had died of AIDs, and the mother was infected. She had 5 children and was pregnant… I got to know a couple of the older girls (about 12 and 15) a little and they seemed nice. After a couple of weeks they moved to Chennai as their Uncle had found a job there and could support them. After about a month they returned, without the two older girls… I hate to think what has happened to them, but I cant help speculate that they were sold into some form of sex slavery, which is big in India. And to think that they were probably sold for less than $100. I would have happily given them that money if I knew the consequences. Why didn’t I try to help that family?
On my first night in Chennai I had planned to stay at a YHA, a good bet I thought. However, I arrived outside the YHA at 2am to find that it was a run down dump (and not open). My driver didnt speak any English and promptly left. Anyway, I climbed the fence and walked in the front door and tried to get some sleep on the floor. But I was stressing out, there were mosquitos every where and I was worried about malaria. I was trespassing in a ghetto… So I decided to get up and walk the streets. Eventually I found a rickshaw driver that could take me somewhere else. I finally got into bed at 7am…
The food at the orphanage was not very good. We at a lot of rice and not much else… I lost a lot of weight (about 10kg) and if you know me, I dont really have that much to lose… An interesting perspective I gained from this was that it is hard to think (creatively, intelligently, … etc) when you are in some sort of pain (for me this was the damned heat) or have little energy. For a while I looked down at many of the people I met in India as I though them not capable of intelligent though. But I know realise that this was wrong. They just have far more barriers to thinking; malnutrition, poor education, having to slave just to feed yourself, … etc.
I was told (by the staff) that a child was ‘repossessed’ by relatives. The child’s parents were dead, and he had been at the orphanage for about 8 years. He came to the orphanage at the age of 8 and had grown into a strong and capable young man. The staff had raised him, they had made sure he took his AIDs medication, they had educated him, … etc. In India the relatives of a child still have legal rights to them and they decided they wanted him, after those 8 long years (I assume so he could help them/so they could exploit him, but maybe I am being cynical). Anyway, the result was that he died within a month as they didnt give him the proper treatment for his AIDs. The staff were devastated. (This happened just before I arrived)
A crucial Indian experience is taking a bus ride. They are hilarious. 100 people on a 40 person bus. People bring the produce, hay, goats, … etc. The bus drivers also just dont give a fuck about the speed bumps and hit them at 50-60kmph, you literally go flying and have to hold on.
There was a big storm and it seemed as though the weather was trying to make up for the last four months of no rain. Everyone huddled up in the kitchen. What struck me was how it was like one big family.
Getting swarmed by kids was a fairly usual thing. The kids loved to hold hands, or hold my arms/whatever they could grab onto. We would often go on walks in the mornings or evenings and I would have 2-3 kids per arm.
My classes were going well… Teaching may not be my strongest suit, as these girls are demonstrating. I told them off jokingly.
Cricket! I played lots of cricket while in India. I think that they play cricket because it is too hot to play proper sports. The cricket was incredibly competitive with the staff occasionally betting against each other
The girls doing their washing. Most kids had 2-3 items of clothing so it wasnt a arduous task.
This was where they stored water. It frequently had mold on the inside of the tank and all sorts of particulates floating in the water. Fortunately for me, they bought me water and wouldn’t even let me pay for it…
T
The kids playing a game of karaam. It is kind of similar to pool, where you have to knock checkers into the pockets on the corners of the board. (one board per 30 children results in quite a few fights…)
When I was working on their computer I was regularly joined by a few kids. These guys stayed late into the night and ended up falling asleep.
The kids sitting down for a novel experience. Eating fresh fruit/vegetables. The staff had managed to get their hands on some lemons, tomatos and carrots.
Thats me!
The majority of the problems at the HoH are related to finances and I think that the current staff and management would be quite capable of solving any/all of their problems with a very sizeable increase in their funding.
Overall, my time at the House of Hope was a great learning experience. I learnt a lot about a different culture and a few new things about myself. I fell in love with the kids and leaving was very hard.
Afterwards I found myself getting quite depressed. I missed the kids and worried for their safety, but questioned whether I should help. I became quite pessimistic about peoples ability to change, as I had just spent 3 months trying to change the staff with about zero effect.
If you are interested in donating or volunteering (contact me or Raja at hutrajavenkat@gmail.com) it would be for a good cause. You can follow the orphanage on their fb page as well.