On bullies and escape
October 22, 2025
Read with care, the following is dark.
(Verse 1)
Hate. Not for a government, or some idea,
But for a person who has no place here.
The wish that they weren’t just gone or dead –
But that they never happened in the first place, instead.
To wipe the proof they ever drew a breath,
So the world could heal from all their damage left.
A better future, with that anchor gone,
A chance for everyone else to carry on.
(Pre-Chorus)
Everyone is broken, everyone has flaws,
But you’re the only one who gives me pause.
The only one I’ve looked at, long and hard,
And seen a life that’s totally been scarred
Beyond repair. I’ve checked the reasons, one by one,
And now the list of all the shit you’ve done:
(Chorus)
You’re a fraud, and you will never be enough!
You’re a coward, hiding when the world gets rough!
You’re selfish, it’s a sickness in your brain!
You’re useless, a whole life that’s lived in vain!
(Verse 2)
And you can’t run from this voice in your head,
It shares your pillow, sleeps in your own bed.
It lives inside you, knows you inside out,
It knows exactly what you’re scared about.
It takes your secret hopes and makes a knife,
And you just stand there, letting it ruin your life.
(Pre-Chorus)
Everyone is broken, everyone has flaws,
But you’re the only one who gives me pause.
The only one I’ve looked at, long and hard,
And seen a life that’s totally been scarred
Beyond repair. I’ve checked the reasons, one by one,
And now the list of all the shit you’ve done:
(Chorus)
You’re a fraud, and you will never be enough!
You’re a coward, hiding when the world gets rough!
You’re selfish, it’s a sickness in your brain!
You’re useless, a whole life that’s lived in vain!
(Bridge)
Sometimes I whisper, “Please, just give me a break,”
For any kind of mercy, for God’s sake.
But in the mirror, I just watch me sneer,
And my own mouth makes the answer loud and clear.
My lips are moving, but the words are its,
As every last defense inside me quits.
There are no sides left, there is no more fight,
Just one voice now, that knows that it was right.
The one I hate, the one I blame for this,
Is the one who answers to my own damn name.
(Final Chorus)
I’m a fraud, and I will never be enough.
I’m a coward, hiding when the world gets rough.
I’m selfish, it’s a sickness in my brain.
I’m useless, a whole life that’s lived in vain.
This isn’t a cry for help. These are issues I dealt with a decade ago.
I think most people can imagine being bullied by someone who knows you well and follows you everywhere, all the time. I think this is a perfect metaphor for self hate. Expect that bully is you, and you believe everything they say.
Once upon a time I understood what one might do to escape such a bully. If you already understand this, I’m sorry.